Our daily life is filled with different emotions related to family, friendship and love relationships, work, study and other moments. No person can do without stress. In such periods, the support of loved ones is very important, and you need to be in a resource to accept help and become a support for yourself in a difficult situation.
Communication with a person in a stressful situation should be delicate, polite. It is important not to touch on topics that can become triggers for strong feelings. Emotional closeness is also important, when you try to understand a person not with your mind, but with your heart, not trying to give advice, but just listening and accepting the interlocutor with all his emotions.
What a person under stress feels and needs
A person’s stresses can vary, depending on the circumstances:
- a serious illness;
- moving to another city or country;
- preparation for an important event: defense of a diploma, certification at work, passing exams;
- The loss, death or serious illness of a loved one;
- a painful breakup, a divorce;
- loss of employment and livelihood;
- violence: assault, beating, bullying at work or school and other situations;
A person’s reaction to stress can be different: someone closes himself up and does not want to share his experiences, someone, on the contrary, tries to express his inner pain as much as possible, and someone may start using alcohol. In order to survive stress in an ecological way and recover, it is desirable not to be alone in a difficult situation and to find support in the person of family and friends.
How to support a person in a stressful situation
If your close friend or relative is going through stress, you can help in the following ways:
- It is important to let the person speak out, to release accumulated emotions, to cry, while listening attentively and not commenting. It is possible to ask questions, ask about feelings, but it is not necessary to give any advice – in the acute stage of stress a person does not need it;
- more tactile contact: a person in this condition is in dire need of hugs, which activate the production of the hormone oxytocin and help to alleviate heartache;
- before offering help, clarify what your loved one needs at the moment: whether he or she needs to be listened to, helped financially, provided with temporary housing, helped to move things around, buy medicine or babysit. It is important to understand whether you need to intervene in the situation or whether the person is ready to sort things out on their own and just needs moral support;
Before deciding to help a person in stress, it is important to be a resource yourself. Don’t panic, don’t get hysterical, and don’t escalate the situation. If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, involve other people from your close environment – the larger the support group, the easier it will be for the person in need.
How you shouldn’t help a person under stress
There are a number of mistakes that are often made by a person’s loved ones in a stressful situation:
- ignore his emotions or try to suppress them. “Don’t cry”, “don’t be sad”, “everything will pass”, “be strong” – these phrases do not motivate, but only aggravate the depressed emotional state;
- intervene in a situation without asking the person if they need it at that moment;
- avoid contact for fear of being traumatized by an unfortunate word. It is necessary to face the truth, not to deny that a loved one is in trouble, and not to be afraid to ask directly what he or she needs now;
- judging, moralizing. “And I told you so” – there is no worse phrase for a person in a state of stress. It is worth refraining from such statements, even if earlier you repeatedly warned about the possible consequences of a wrong decision. What you have done cannot be undone, and you can only support and, if possible, help to correct the consequences;
The most important thing to do in times of stress is to be present and genuinely empathize with what has happened. The understanding of how you can be useful will come in the process of communication.
How to ask for help in times of stress
If you yourself are facing a stressful situation and it is difficult for you to survive it alone, do not hesitate to ask your family and friends for help. You can call and ask if the person is ready to listen to you, if he/she has time and internal resources. Voice directly what kind of help you need: psychological, financial, property, physical. If you have found a really close person, do not be ashamed of your emotions in his presence: you can cry, shout, resent and be yourself as much as possible in order not to keep the pain in yourself and avoid psychosomatic diseases.
How important friends are in times of stress
Of course, it is easier to go through difficult times if one is not alone and there are reliable friends nearby. But what to do if there are no such people in your immediate environment? In fact, it is not difficult to build new social ties and find new friends – the main thing is desire. On wedaf.com you can meet new people and find pen pals.
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