What to do if your conversation partner is stubborn and refuses to listen

Everyone seeks communication, but what if the person you are talking to insists on their point of view while completely ignoring yours? Is it possible to change their mind, or is it better not to waste time and energy? Should you insist on proving your point or simply remain silent? Here is what psychologists recommend.

Listen without interrupting

People often become stubborn when they sense opposition to their opinions. This can happen when:

• They were not listened to or taken seriously in childhood.
• They are used to being in charge because they were spoiled.
• They struggle to accept other viewpoints.
• The topic of discussion reminds them of an unpleasant experience.

It is best to let a stubborn person speak without immediately arguing back. Otherwise, the situation may escalate into a conflict. Platforms like wedaf.com provide opportunities to communicate with different people, including those who are firm in their beliefs, helping to develop conversational skills and patience. Once the person has expressed their thoughts, you can present your own perspective.

Agree before disagreeing

You do not have to accept an idea that you do not like, but to avoid conflict, psychologists suggest a useful technique: first, agree partially with the person and then introduce your argument. For example:

• I know this restaurant has amazing sushi, but I’m currently on a diet.
• I would love to go to the pool with you, but I already have other plans.
• I used to think the same way as you, but then… (explain your viewpoint).
• I’d love to adopt this kitten, but my grandmother is allergic to fur.

This method shows that you acknowledge their perspective while explaining why you cannot comply with their request.

When time can help

Giving an indefinite response or postponing the discussion can sometimes lead the other person to change their mind or lose interest. A delay can be short or long, depending on the situation. If you want to avoid conflict but also do not intend to agree, you can say:

• Let’s discuss this later.
• I’d love to continue this conversation, but I need a coffee break.
• I’ll think about how I can help.
• I need to weigh everything first.
• Let me get back to you on this another time.

These responses help postpone a decision you are not ready to make. Often, the person will find someone else to help or resolve the issue on their own.

Change the subject

In some cases, shifting the conversation to another topic can help avoid tension and maintain a good relationship. Finding a mutual interest can prevent escalation and allow the person to calm down and think more clearly. Sometimes, after a change of subject, they may reconsider their stance on the initial issue.

Ask them to explain their point of view

Stubbornness usually has deeper roots. It may stem from personal grievances, insecurities, or a lack of communication skills. People who insist on their opinions without compromise may be protecting themselves emotionally. Common reasons for this include:

• A history of being ignored or dismissed.
• A desire to be seen as an expert, even without the necessary knowledge.
• Childhood experiences of being frequently hurt or overlooked.
• Fear of being wrong or losing control.

To understand their stance, try asking:

• Why do you believe that?
• What exactly don’t you like?
• Did I say something that upset you? Let me know.
• What can I do to make you feel better about this?

Be prepared for them to take time before responding—or not respond at all. In some cases, people open up later, once they feel safe. However, if they continue to resist communication, it may be best to change the subject and avoid pushing them further.

Avoid pressuring the person

If someone is being stubborn and refuses to engage in discussion, take a break from the conversation. However, if they are making a request, try to listen to their reasoning. Sometimes, people cannot fulfill certain expectations, but they may not express the true reason directly. In such cases, it is best to let them hold their opinion without pressuring them to act.

It is also important to recognize that stubbornness can be a form of manipulation. Some people use emotional reactions—such as sulking or complaining—to get what they want. These manipulations are best ignored to avoid unnecessary conflict. Otherwise, they may drain your energy and lead to frustration without resolving anything.

Conclusion

Changing someone’s opinion is possible if they are willing to listen. Sometimes, taking a break or postponing the conversation can be effective. In other cases, avoiding controversial topics altogether leads to better, more positive interactions. Keeping discussions pleasant and constructive ensures that communication remains enjoyable and productive.