How to correctly interpret the words and intonation of the interlocutor

At first glance, the most important thing in human communication is the transfer of information. After all, the most important thing for us is content. And there is no arguing with this, but part of the meaning of a statement is contained not in the words themselves, but in the intonation of a person, logical pauses, gestures and so on. So how can you recognize the right message from your interlocutor?

Concentrate on one thing

Direct all your attention to your conversation, put away your phone and other distractions. By doing something in parallel, your attention will be divided into two things, and you may miss something important. You also need to stop the mental stream of consciousness. The brain is so organized that it is constantly working. Therefore, do not reason to yourself, do not think during the hearing about what you will answer, what you think and how you feel. You will be able to answer all these questions correctly only after you know the full story.

The same advice applies to keeping silent during the interlocutor’s monologue. Do not interrupt or interfere with his/her speech. Do not ask questions immediately. Usually the opponent knows in advance at what moment and what he will say. Thus, you can easily confuse him and confuse him and yourself at the same time.

You can ask a question if you notice that the person has paused or hesitated in some way. But ask a question so that it cannot be answered in a one-syllable way. For example, not, “So you have a deal?”. Here are variations of the right question: “And what outcome did you come to as a result?”, “What did you decide in the end?” and so on. In this way, you will show your interest and willingness to listen and understand, if not to help.

Feel it, not analyze it

Often, a person who shares something first of all expects not so much advice as understanding and support from your side. Imagine yourself in your interlocutor’s shoes. How would you feel at that moment? It is important not logically, but emotionally to feel his problem. So mutual understanding will be much higher.

It is quite normal to pause after a story. Don’t take it as an awkward moment. It isn’t. Think, realize what you have heard and only then resume the dialogue.

Don’t impose

Listen first and foremost! Do not jump in with your opinion or advice. This can and should be done at the end. If the person did not ask for advice, then do not give it. The only thing you can do is to veil your advice by saying that in this or that situation you would do this or that, but make sure to specify that the right to act like this lies only with your interlocutor. Or you can offer words of support and sympathy. Sometimes that’s all a person with a serious conversation comes for.

What will help you understand your interlocutor?

1. Respect your interlocutor, even if their beliefs do not coincide with yours. You do not have to agree directly with what you do not agree with. You need to accept that there are different points of view on life.
2. Keep a friendly and relaxed attitude. This will keep the dialog in a trusting and safe atmosphere.
3. Clarify what you have heard. Retell the story in your own words to make sure you understand it correctly.
4. Occasionally nod your head or say “I understand(ed)” to show the person you are engaged in the conversation.

What about in correspondence?

Some principles do differ, but not much. On wedaf.com you have a unique opportunity to communicate with interesting people and find friends. To properly support the dialog in correspondence you also need to turn your attention completely to your opponent. Create comfortable conditions for attentive and focused listening.

To correctly convey or understand the desired intonation, arrange and pay attention to punctuation marks. When reading a text, a person unconsciously makes pauses where a comma stands. Do not forget about such signs as the dotted line, question mark and exclamation mark separately and together, i.e. “!?”. Some emotion can be expressed with interjections: “oh”, “hm”, “ouch”, “wow” and so on. You can also use capital letters and even emoticons and stickers, if the informal tone of the conversation allows it.

Ask about feelings

Communicate your assumptions about your state of mind to the person you are talking to. Ask if he or she feels joy, frustration, or sadness depending on the topic of the conversation. In this way, you will learn more about your conversation partner’s state of mind and his or her attitude toward the conversation. Or maybe you can help him or her understand his or her emotions. Just do not express your judgments and assessments. This will push a person away from a sincere and trusting conversation. If you are not sure about the interpretation of other people’s feelings, then add a word of uncertainty to your statement. For example, “maybe”, “I think/see/feel”, “maybe” and others.