The significance of eye contact in communication

When we talk to someone, maintaining eye contact is very important. It demonstrates interest in the conversation, shows that the person is listening attentively, and helps interpret nonverbal cues such as gestures, posture, facial expressions, and voice intonation. When conversation partners look each other in the eyes, it strengthens their connection and encourages further communication.

How eye contact benefits communication

Eye contact during a conversation provides several advantages for both participants:

• It is a sign of attentiveness and interest in the conversation and the person.
• It helps establish a connection and create a welcoming atmosphere.
• It allows for nonverbal communication, revealing the other person’s mood, well-being, and emotions.

By maintaining eye contact, you can gauge how willing the other person is to engage in conversation, as well as their attitude toward both the topic and their conversation partner.

Why some people avoid eye contact during conversations

Some people never make eye contact while speaking. They may look at the floor, shift their gaze around, or stare blankly into space. Reactions to this behavior vary—some may feel offended, thinking the person does not want to talk, while others may feel confused or irritated, perceiving it as a sign of disrespect.

There are several reasons why a person might avoid eye contact:

• Shyness – Some individuals feel uncomfortable making direct eye contact. They may simply need time to feel at ease with their conversation partner.
• Autistic traits – A person with Asperger’s syndrome or certain autism spectrum characteristics may find direct eye contact physically uncomfortable. In such cases, their avoidance is not meant as an insult.
• Attraction to the conversation partner – In some cases, particularly in interactions between men and women, a person may avoid eye contact to conceal their feelings.
• Lack of interest – The person may not be engaged in the topic of discussion or in the conversation itself.
• Feeling pressured – If someone is being emotionally or psychologically pressured, they may find it uncomfortable and wish to end the conversation quickly.
• Concealing information – Avoiding eye contact may indicate that the person is hiding something or being dishonest.

If you notice that someone is not making eye contact, try not to jump to conclusions. Observe their overall behavior—do they gesture while speaking? Do they smile? It is possible that avoiding eye contact is simply part of their nature, or it may be a reaction to the way you are interacting with them.

How to maintain eye contact correctly

To make eye contact comfortable for both you and your conversation partner, follow these guidelines:

• Avoid staring too intensely or maintaining eye contact for too long, as this can create tension.
• Make eye contact when the person shares interesting thoughts or emphasizes key points.
• Look at the person’s face, but if direct eye contact feels too intense, focus on their eyebrows instead to avoid exerting emotional pressure.

If you find that most people do not look you in the eyes during conversations, it may be worth observing your own communication style. Perhaps you stand or sit too close, or your gaze and tone of voice feel overpowering. Being aware of these habits can help you adjust your approach and make conversations more comfortable for others.

Seek feedback from your conversation partner to ensure they feel at ease. You can ask whether they are comfortable, whether they need a break, or if they would prefer to continue the discussion later. In some cases, children avoid eye contact with their parents if they feel that they are being treated too strictly, as an authoritarian approach can create distance and emotional discomfort.

How to learn eye contact skills

Eye contact can only be mastered through practice. Some may wonder whether it is possible to develop this skill through online conversations. In reality, online interactions can help prepare for in-person meetings by allowing you to:

• Study photos of your conversation partner and try to interpret their mood, personality, and possible reactions.
• Analyze their online presence, such as hobbies, lifestyle, and social interactions.

On wedalf.com, you can find conversation partners who share your interests and choose people with whom you would like to communicate in real life.